...which brings me to my next topic. About 2 weeks ago I was down on the landing in my good ol' home town of StL getting drunk off my ass because I hadn't been out in 3 weeks and I ran into a friend and her friend which I still have no recollection of.. however the girl I didnt know later got my number from my friend and was blowing me up but I was too drunk to even realize. So the next morning, as I am coming to, I text her (hoping she's hot while hating myself for not getting laid at 3AM) and get no reply. This is superbowl sunday so I have way too many things to worry about besides some random ho but my dick just wont let it go and so I text her again a few hours later.. no reply. Then my guy friend tells me about the girlfriend we ran into so I call her and ask about the girl in question. She says the girl is cute. Aw yea. BUT i cant get her to respond and I dont wanna facebook friend her bc that is creepy. Adding to this, her profile main pic isnt of her... (should have seen the signs). So I go about my week and text her one third and final time on thurs and get no reply again so I delete her number. However, she calls me friday night at 11:30 and apologizes for not responding and asks me to come out. Like a desperate piece of shit, I do and when I get to the club I can't find her because I dont have any clue what she looks like (maybe I have a drinking problem?) but then she calls me and we meet at the front door and as I see her wallow around the corner I am fucking stunned momentarily.... she is a fucking 240lb linebacker chew my ass up and shit me out kinda girl.. holy shit what have I gotten myself into? Who knows. I have a near split second decision to make as she grabs my hand and leads me to the bar where she is getting free drinks.. did I just waste a shit ton of time getting rdy and driving 40 min out here or am I going to be a trooper and drink til her weight doesnt matter????? What would you do? 5 seconds ...........................................................................................................................................................................................
Our hero chose to go with option #2. In the next 3 hrs I double fisted gin and tonics while taking occasional shots in between untuil I had downed somewhere between 12-14 cocktails and about 4 shots, which is nearly a world record for me. Anyway, moral of the story is I found out she had a boyfriend and that is why she avoided me during the week.. then I took her back and fucked the shit out of her and I still have the scars to prove it. In fact, I just filed my taxes last week and I counted her as my biggest deduction. It helped quite a bit. That's all for now. I will try to keep up with posting my exploits in MN. Should be fun.
